So many things i dont understand

So as i am coming to terms with the fact that he wants nothing to do with me it seems as if things arent going my way even still it seems as if the one place i felt that i truly belonged isnt where im supposed to be at all it seems as if everytime i get happy something happens and screws it up and right now i dont even know what to think or feel because all i can feel is the hurt and pain from the way everything happened the last month because i have so many good memories with him he seemed so happy i guess even i was fooled because he wasnt he was just out for himself he cared nothing about my feelings and that honestly is the hardest part of this all is knowing he lied to me and he never cared i wish it had all turned out different then it has sometimes i feel like my life is just a big train wreck and that im on a track to nowhere i dont fit in anywhere i feel as if i dont belong anywhere and i feel so confused somewhere deep inside theres somethin tellin me that ill find the right guy someday but then another part of me is saying that theres no right guy out there because maybe im not meant to fall in love all i really want is to find a man who loves me and i love and someone who can be happy just being together and to just settle down everybody always tells me im so young and that i need to go out and live my life well its not that easy i want to settle down i wanna marry the man of my dreams why is that so much to ask of life i dont get it