Well I have a few updates to post i havent been on in forever but hey work keeps me busy..
Alright well My biological fathers current wife actually found me on facebook and ive been in touch with her but it all seems kinda pushed i havent heard from him its all her and im wondering if he even really wants to talk to me or if shes just pushing it herself she says theyve been looking for me for years and theyve been talking about me for years but they knew where i was and never tried contacting me makes me wonder if they were waiting on the right time but its all moving so fast i cant even catch my breath theyre already talking about meeting and when i say them i mean her of course its all just crazy theyre talking about coming up but im not sure how i feel about it all just yet i mean its been almost 20 years with no contact so i guess im kinda wonderin why now ive known about him since i was 8 years old and im almost 20 now kinda crazy to me but anyways she seems nice so far but who am i to say i dont really know her i did find out that i had a half brother and a nephew as well but im not sure if they know about me or not.
Well i made another stupid mistake i swore i wouldnt!!
Thats right i slept with another guy, i totally froze up and heres a way to explain it "i was playin back a thousand memories baby" from taylor swifts song if this was a movie but i just started thinking about my first and how i swore to myself that i wouldnt do it again but that didnt happen it started out so innocent then it escalated from there he somehow got off three layers of his clothes without my knowing it thank god i realized what was going on and made him at least use a condom if we were gonna do it but thruthfully i wish i had said no because it just felt so wrong to me but i didnt and i cant change it now i havent heard from him since i sent him a nasty message after not hearing anything from him in 2 days!! i mean come on 2 days?? So i freaked and flipped on him i went by his place last night to apologize but he wasnt there and hes not texting me back so im not real sure guess ill just have to wait and see i met a nice guy though that im supposed to hang out with in like 3 days hes cute and actually cares about me instead of sex which is nice because im still not ready to have sex even after having done it 4 times now with 2 different people if u can count the first as 2 because they didnt last very long and i can tell you it still hurts my advice is to wait for the right one im in complete regret still because of it and im tired of being used for sex thats not the type of girl i am but people think i am i guess i dont really know but theres your updates its now time for me to go do the freggin dishes and get ready for bed i have work at 9 in the morning
Stay Beautiful,
Bre <3
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